CHAPTER I .
YOU do n't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer ; but that ai n't no matter .
That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain , and he told the truth , mainly .
There was things which he stretched , but mainly he told the truth .
That is nothing .
I never seen anybody but lied one time or another , without it was Aunt Polly , or the widow , or maybe Mary .
Aunt Polly -- Tom 's Aunt Polly , she is -- and Mary , and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book , which is mostly a true book , with some stretchers , as I said before .
Now the way that the book winds up is this : Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the cave , and it made us rich .
We got six thousand dollars apiece -- all gold .
It was an awful sight of money when it was piled up .
Well , Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest , and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round -- more than a body could tell what to do with .
The Widow Douglas she took me for her son , and allowed she would sivilize me ; but it was rough living in the house all the time , considering how dismal regular and decent the widow was in all her ways ; and so when I could n't stand it no longer I lit out .
I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again , and was free and satisfied .
But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he was going to start a band of robbers , and I might join if I would go back to the widow and be respectable .
So I went back .
The widow she cried over me , and called me a poor lost lamb , and she called me a lot of other names , too , but she never meant no harm by it .
She put me in them new clothes again , and I could n't do nothing but sweat and sweat , and feel all cramped up .
Well , then , the old thing commenced again .
The widow rung a bell for supper , and you had to come to time .
When you got to the table you could n't go right to eating , but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals , though there war n't really anything the matter with them , -- that is , nothing only everything was cooked by itself .
In a barrel of odds and ends it is different ; things get mixed up , and the juice kind of swaps around , and the things go better .
After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the Bulrushers , and I was in a sweat to find out all about him ; but by and by she let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time ; so then I did n't care no more about him , because I do n't take no stock in dead people .
Pretty soon I wanted to smoke , and asked the widow to let me .
But she would n't .
She said it was a mean practice and was n't clean , and I must try to not do it any more .
That is just the way with some people .
They get down on a thing when they do n't know nothing about it .
Here she was a-bothering about Moses , which was no kin to her , and no use to anybody , being gone , you see , yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a thing that had some good in it .
And she took snuff , too ; of course that was all right , because she done it herself .
Her sister , Miss Watson , a tolerable slim old maid , with goggles on , had just come to live with her , and took a set at me now with a spelling-book .
She worked me middling hard for about an hour , and then the widow made her ease up .
I could n't stood it much longer .
Then for an hour it was deadly dull , and I was fidgety .
Miss Watson would say , “ Do n't put your feet up there , Huckleberry ; ” and “ Do n't scrunch up like that , Huckleberry -- set up straight ; ” and pretty soon she would say , “ Do n't gap and stretch like that , Huckleberry -- why do n't you try to behave ? ”
Then she told me all about the bad place , and I said I wished I was there .
She got mad then , but I did n't mean no harm .
All I wanted was to go somewheres ; all I wanted was a change , I war n't particular .
She said it was wicked to say what I said ; said she would n't say it for the whole world ; she was going to live so as to go to the good place .
Well , I could n't see no advantage in going where she was going , so I made up my mind I would n't try for it .
But I never said so , because it would only make trouble , and would n't do no good .
Now she had got a start , and she went on and told me all about the good place .
She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all day long with a harp and sing , forever and ever .
So I did n't think much of it .
But I never said so .
I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there , and she said not by a considerable sight .
I was glad about that , because I wanted him and me to be together .
Miss Watson she kept pecking at me , and it got tiresome and lonesome .
By and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers , and then everybody was off to bed .
I went up to my room with a piece of candle , and put it on the table .
Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to think of something cheerful , but it war n't no use .
I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead .
The stars were shining , and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful ; and I heard an owl , away off , who-whooing about somebody that was dead , and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die ; and the wind was trying to whisper something to me , and I could n't make out what it was , and so it made the cold shivers run over me .
Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that 's on its mind and ca n't make itself understood , and so ca n't rest easy in its grave , and has to go about that way every night grieving .
I got so down-hearted and scared I did wish I had some company .
Pretty soon a spider went crawling up my shoulder , and I flipped it off and it lit in the candle ; and before I could budge it was all shriveled up .
I did n't need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch me some bad luck , so I was scared and most shook the clothes off of me .
I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and crossed my breast every time ; and then I tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to keep witches away .
But I had n't no confidence .
You do that when you 've lost a horseshoe that you 've found , instead of nailing it up over the door , but I had n't ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad luck when you 'd killed a spider .
I set down again , a-shaking all over , and got out my pipe for a smoke ; for the house was all as still as death now , and so the widow would n't know .
Well , after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town go boom -- boom -- boom -- twelve licks ; and all still again -- stiller than ever .
Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the trees -- something was a stirring .
I set still and listened .
Directly I could just barely hear a “ me-yow !
me-yow ! ”
down there .
That was good !
Says I , “ me-yow !
me-yow ! ”
as soft as I could , and then I put out the light and scrambled out of the window on to the shed .
Then I slipped down to the ground and crawled in among the trees , and , sure enough , there was Tom Sawyer waiting for me .
CHAPTER II .
WE went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards the end of the widow 's garden , stooping down so as the branches would n't scrape our heads .
When we was passing by the kitchen I fell over a root and made a noise .
We scrouched down and laid still .
Miss Watson 's big nigger , named Jim , was setting in the kitchen door ; we could see him pretty clear , because there was a light behind him .
He got up and stretched his neck out about a minute , listening .
Then he says : “ Who dah ? ”
He listened some more ; then he come tiptoeing down and stood right between us ; we could a touched him , nearly .
Well , likely it was minutes and minutes that there war n't a sound , and we all there so close together .
There was a place on my ankle that got to itching , but I das n't scratch it ; and then my ear begun to itch ; and next my back , right between my shoulders .
Seemed like I 'd die if I could n't scratch .
Well , I 've noticed that thing plenty times since .
If you are with the quality , or at a funeral , or trying to go to sleep when you ai n't sleepy -- if you are anywheres where it wo n't do for you to scratch , why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places .
Pretty soon Jim says : “ Say , who is you ?
Whar is you ?
Dog my cats ef I didn ' hear sumf ' n. Well , I know what I 's gwyne to do : I 's gwyne to set down here and listen tell I hears it agin . ”
So he set down on the ground betwixt me and Tom .
He leaned his back up against a tree , and stretched his legs out till one of them most touched one of mine .
My nose begun to itch .
It itched till the tears come into my eyes .
But I das n't scratch .
Then it begun to itch on the inside .
Next I got to itching underneath .
I did n't know how I was going to set still .
This miserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes ; but it seemed a sight longer than that .
I was itching in eleven different places now .
I reckoned I could n't stand it more 'n a minute longer , but I set my teeth hard and got ready to try .
Just then Jim begun to breathe heavy ; next he begun to snore -- and then I was pretty soon comfortable again .